


Nothing But Us

by notthebigspoon



Category: American Actor RPF, Kane (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-14
Updated: 2010-12-14
Packaged: 2017-10-13 16:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/139210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christian doesn't think Zac's crush should be an issue. Zac disagrees. Sequel to A Bar in LA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing But Us

**Author's Note:**

> Blah blah blah, don't own. I do this because I can.

“All I'm saying is that it ain't an issue. Why should it be?”

“This conversation is getting circular. Why are we still having it?”

It was a good question. Zac had found himself in Portland 'somehow' and they'd ended up crashed out on Christian's couch, drinking a beer and watching Young Guns. For a grand total of twenty minutes before Christian brought up what he called a ridiculous hypothetical, in which his friends tell him that Zac's crazy about him. Zac didn't answer and that sealed the deal. At this point, Christian likes to think that he knows Zac at least somewhat well and he knew the silence was a sign that what was said is fact and the fact was making Zac uncomfortable.

Zac's truthful in saying the conversation was circular. It'd started out as an argument, Christian telling Zac that the feelings were unreciprocated but didn't create an issue. And for Zac they couldn't be anything but an issue because he was crazy about a man that was never going to take any interest in him beyond friendship. Christian would reiterate that it wasn't a problem and then they'd have the same conversation over again.

When the kid clams up again, Christian doesn't push it. He just takes a pull off his beer and slouches back in his seat, only half paying attention to the gunfight on the television. The credits start rolling, the silence continues and Zac finally gets up, muttering about catching some sleep before heading to the guest room. Christian wants to follow, to try and convince him that things are really okay between them, they can still be friends.

But he doesn't. Instead, he sits on the couch, staring off into space and trying to figure out why this was feeling so much harder than it had to be. It's not that he has a problem with a guy liking him. Christian may be a lot of things, but entirely straight isn't one of them. He's been with men, he's been with women and never really made up his mind as to which he liked better. He thinks he does okay with both.

He's never gotten involved with someone thirteen years his junior. And despite what his friends think and the way they jeer at him, he's never even thought about getting involved with Zac, never looked at him with more affection than one would offer to a little brother. Sure, Zac was more involved and touchy feely than most of the guys he knew, but after you've met Jared Padalecki, you start making more allowances for that sort of thing and it stops becoming an issue.

The musing is interrupted by footsteps and Christian's set to make a wisecrack about running off mad when he notices the amused look on Zac's face. The kid's in low slung pajama pants and a too tight t-shirt and... wait a minute. When the hell did Christian start finding him attractive? He almost doesn't notice the way Zac laughs. “It's four in the morning and you're sitting in the dark. You do realize that's kind of cliched right?”

“Didn't realize what time it was. Was thinking.”

“Yeah? Does it hurt?”

Christian gives Zac a black look and slouches back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest as he cocks an eyebrow. “Fuck you. Why are you even up anyways?”

“Well see, conventional wisdom tends to go with the affirmation that when something's bothering you, you really can't sleep. And when you're crazy about someone and they don't seem to acknowledge that, you can't eat or sleep. The eating part, not so true, but I can't sleep. I don't know how long I can do this, Christian. I keep waiting for you to notice me and if you keep... if you keep pretending it's nothing, I don't know how I can keep being around you.” Had Zac been any of his other friends, he'd have stared off into space and looked anywhere but at Christian, then clammed up after that little speech and waited for Christian's input. Zac, however, is NOT one of his other friends and he keeps eye contact the entire time. It's making Christian uncomfortable. “You're one of the only people I know that doesn't treat me like I'm some kind of kid. But as soon as you figure out that I feel for you, you start dismissing me as a kid with a crush. I kind of hate you for that.”

Christian's angry by now, and he can't keep the venom out of his voice. “What did you think was going to happen, kid? Did you think I'd find out and suddenly we'd be in love? That I'd sweep you off your feet and never let you go?”

Zac wilts at the tone and just looks at his hands, voice barely audible as he utters, “Yeah. I kind of did.”

They both go silent again, not looking at eachother. Christian hates himself for the expression of pain and humiliation on Zac's face and wonders what would really be so terrible about giving this thing between them a shot. It's not exactly like he's never really thought about them together, especially since Jensen's drunken declaration that Zac loves him. He wonders why he said no and tries to reason with himself that Zac is famous, to a degree that Christian will never be, and that it could destroy the kid's career before it even began if they were ever found out.

The reality is that Christian's something of a selfish bastard. He's always been private about his life, and while he's not exactly A-list, there's been people interested in knowing. The honest reality is that he always panics when he gets with guys and it's more than just a one night fuck. He can fuck a man, but he can't be with one. He doesn't know if he could handle people knowing he was in a relationship with one. All of this, he decides, makes him more of a coward than David, who got married and had a kid just so people would stop believing that he and Christian were in love. Nobody stopped. David didn't stop loving Christian. Christian had stopped loving David. Christian wasn't going to let himself become that.

He climbs to his feet and approaches Zac, a tiny smile playing on his face as the look of fear and questioning in the kid's eyes. A calloused hand slides into that ridiculously cut hair, pulling Zac in close as he presses their lips together. Zac doesn't hesitate, just like Christian knew he wouldn't. Instead, he leans up into the kiss, hands clutching at Christian's forearms, always following the kiss and not letting Christian break it until the need for air becomes so much that they can't ignore it.

Christian steps back, he collapses onto the couch and laughs breathlessly when Zac follows after, settling into his lap. He makes a crack about eagerness and Zac shrugs, pulling him for another kiss, this one hard and desperate like he thinks he should get his fill now for fear that Christian will never want to take it beyond this one night.

They wake up with the afternoon light filtering through the shades. Christian's sprawled out on his back, Zach is on his side next to him and the sheer happiness in his eyes when he remembers the night before is enough to make Christian's heart ache. Instead of letting it show how happy he is that this means so much to Zac, he just offers a half smirk, “So maybe you was right.”

Zac yawns and reaches over Christian, grabbing his left arm and tugging on it as he rolls over, pulling until the older man's chest is molded against his back and the arm is locked tight around his waist. His body, tense with something that might have been fear, relaxes when Christian settles in against him with ease and drops a kiss on his shoulder. “I'm always right.”


End file.
